Why is it hard to say Yes to you first and what do I even mean by this?
Saying Yes to yourself first, means doing things that light you up and bring you joy, before you consider the needs and wants of others. It means listening to your body and your heart and following its’ innate wisdom. It means living the life you were born to live, not one dictated to by others.
It sounds easy, but it’s something that most of us find hard to do, myself included. We are brought up to think of others first, to meet their needs. Putting ourselves first goes against societal expectations. We are considered to be selfish and fear judgment and criticism, so we resist. It’s far easier to say no to ourselves.
Many of us are brought up to be ‘people pleasers’ to meet the needs of those around us. This may come from childhood beliefs, where we found that we were more loved or accepted if we stayed small and silent. I know that I certainly was. When family dynamics influence your behaviours, sometimes it’s safer to put yourself last.
But one day we realise that this way of living is not sustainable. Saying ‘No’ to yourself only leads to burnout and resentment. Fatigue and illness often ensue, if we constantly avoid listening to our body.
Each one of us is here to lead an extraordinary life. We all have gifts and talents and it’s up to us to use them. Saying yes to You first, means you are living an authentic life. One of your choosing. A life of adventure and mystery. A life where the impossible happens all the time. A life where you’re fulfilled and inspire others.
This is not selfish. It does not mean that you are inconsiderate of the needs of those around you. It just means that you are able to give from a full cup, not a depleted one of bitterness and resentment.
Why is it hard to say Yes to You first? Because most of us want to be liked and admired. We want others to feel comfortable around us and we want to feel comfortable around them. We’re scared to rock the boat. So we conform.
And by conforming, we avoid confrontation or disapproval. So we allow our boundaries to be breached and we give in. We tell ourselves that we can look after ‘us’ later.
The truth is that ‘later’ never comes. If we continue to ‘people please’ our whole lives, we will never reach our potential. We will never create a life of our choosing.
So start to prioritise You. Start saying Yes to your own desires and needs. Your family and friends may feel challenged by the new you, but you are not here to live their lives. There will always be someone who disagrees with what you are doing, or how you are living your life.
By saying yes you recognise your self worth. Never forget that every one of us is Worthy. Follow your intuition and follow your heart. Never doubt that you are capable of extraordinary things. Believe in yourself and believe deep down that you deserve to come first.
Then start saying a big, bold Yes to You!
With love,
Judy xxx
Ps. If you would like to read more about this topic, you might like to purchase my book, “True Essence: Finding your authentic self without compromise.” This book explores the roles we have taken on in our lives, how we determine our self worth and how we can discover who we are really are. You can find it here.
Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.
References: Photo by Adam from Pixabay