What do we do when our heroes fall from grace? Most of us have heroes throughout our lives. These may be people we admire or look up to, or feel inspired by. As teenagers we may have a crush on a pop star or sporting icon. Later we may look up to someone we work with and if we start to question our roles and purpose in life, we may follow an inspirational leader.
Our heroes are our role models and motivate us to live life differently. We may be inspired to try something new or to think more creatively or look deeper within. They show us possibilities that we may never have imagined and can demonstrate behaviours and values that align with our way of thinking.
But what happens when they fall from grace? Do we feel disillusioned or let down? Do we feel betrayed by someone whom we thought was of such high moral standing.
I’m writing about this issue because as you may have seen in the news, a person that many held in high esteem has been linked quite strongly to Jeffrey Epstein. A lot has already been written about Epstein so I won’t continue the thread. The person who has recently been linked is Deepak Chopra, author, new age guru, mindfulness and spiritual leader. This is a person who has millions of followers whom he has now disappointed bitterly and let down.
What do we do when our heroes fall from grace? Why is this so shocking for us? Is it because we place such huge expectations on them, or is it because we put them on a pedestal?
Many of us are influenced by what psychologists call the ‘halo effect.’ This occurs when we see or read something positive about a person and this unconsciously affects how we view them as a whole. For example, if they are charismatic, we assume they are kind, honest and caring as well.
We also like people who symbolise what is possible in our lives. Maybe we, too could be great artists, or speakers, or authors. We are inspired by those we see succeed.
When one of our heroes falls from grace, we feel let down and disillusioned. But perhaps it’s because we, ourselves have placed them on that pedestal. Perhaps it’s time to humanise them!
Being human is being vulnerable and accepting our frailties. Seeing our heroes fall from grace allows us to see them as human. Maybe they have erred in their judgements and decision making. They may have committed offences, or they may have just made poor life choices. They may have let us down in one aspect, but perhaps they can still inspire us in other ways. We can still value kindness, creativity, adventure, inspiration without excusing the person. And sometimes it’s okay just to distance yourself from them completely.
Society and the media place such a huge emphasis on hero worship. Perhaps it’s time to recognise the achievements of athletes, inspirational leader, artists and great speakers without expecting them to be super human. Without putting them on a pedestal. Without recognising that they may fail.
Perhaps in the end it’s all about honesty and transparency and accepting that we are all human. The traits that we project onto others can all be found within ourselves. Yes it’s okay to follow those who inspire us and to look to others for leadership, but ultimately we should never forget our own gifts, talents and power.
We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Isn’t it time to tear down that pedestal and own our own brilliance!
With love,
Judy
Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.
References: Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/the-halo-effect