Can disappointment lead to something better? We all experience disappointment throughout our lives. We may miss out on a job we wanted or not win a prize in a photography contest. Our paintings may not sell, or our book may not be a raging success. A friend may let us down, or an event that we were looking forward to is cancelled.
Disappointment is a part of life, but it’s how we deal with it that makes all the difference.
We can feel utterly devastated and depressed, can blame everyone else or the unfairness of life, or we can try and see it from an alternative perspective.
I recently had to cancel a long distance trip with my husband to visit our son, who is living overseas. I had a few health issues and wasn’t well enough to travel. I was very upset and disappointed as we had been planning this trip for months. I felt that I had let everyone down and I felt guilty.
Guilty at not being well. Guilty at feeling that my body was not supporting me. Guilty at upsetting everyone else’s plans. Guilty at taking time off from my business when my clients needed me.
But then I realised that maybe something better was waiting for me. Maybe a more exciting plan was unfolding. Perhaps there was a different way of doing things and a different outcome was possible. What if I used this time for my own healing?
I allowed myself the time to grieve the loss of a holiday, the illness that I felt was holding me back and the unwanted change to our plans. I started to accept the situation.
Then, I began to look at the possibilities that lay ahead.
Flights were easily changed to later in the year. I was able to find the same hotels to stay in, or even better ones that were not previously available. And I was able to find some free time that suited everyone involved. Also I realised that I would be healthier and stronger when the trip finally arrived. And I decided to us this already allotted time off, to not work, but focus on my own needs and healing.
We can look at disappointment as something negative. We can see it as devastating and depressing. We can feel disheartened and disillusioned, or we can change our perspective and see it as an opportunity.
Yes we may not be promoted, or get that job that seemed ideal. Yes our art may not be recognised now, or we may miss out on something special. Yes our plans may change unexpectedly. But the Universe has a way of always supporting us.
Although it may not feel like it now, there is always another opportunity just around the corner. There could be an even better job on the horizon, that we would not have come across otherwise. Our book or art may gain recognition from another avenue that we had not previously considered. Our rearranged plans may work out even better than before.
When something disappointing happens, it’s important to first acknowledge our feelings. It’s okay to feel angry or upset or even guilty, as I did. But it’s also important to not apportion blame and show some self compassion. Life happens!
Not everything is within our control and sometimes it’s good to remember this. We can plan everything down to the smallest detail, but then we need to let go of the outcome. The more we control something, the harder it is to accept when things change.
Can disappointment lead to something better? We can certainly see disappointment as a set back or failure, but this only stops us from moving forwards. I felt that my body was letting me down, but deep down I knew that my body was always supporting me. Health issues are often a way of the body telling us to finally take notice.
If we reassess and change our mindset, we can start to see our circumstances as an opportunity to learn and grow. I had been working really hard, seeing too many clients before I went on holidays and was launching my second book. No wonder I was exhausted.
Sometimes we just need to pause and listen to our inner knowing, that gut feeling or intuition that is constantly reminding us to stop or do things differently. There is always another path ahead. We just need to be open to it.
Disappointments can present in different ways. They are a part of life but they can be seen from a different perspective, not always a negative one. We need to give ourselves the time to accept the situation and overall, be kind to ourselves.
Our plans may change, often suddenly, but if they always stayed within our control, the unexpected and often delightful would never happen.
Be open to change. Let go of always controlling everything and remember that something better is often waiting on the other side of our disappointment.
With love,
Judy xxx
PS. Funnily enough I had submitted this article to a magazine but it was rejected. Yes I was disappointed, but then realised that I could repurpose this and use it as my newsletter. Things always have a way of working out.
Don’t forget that life is part of growth and healing. If you would like learn more, have a look at my book, “True Essence: Finding your authentic self without compromise.” A revised and updated edition is now available https://judynewbery.com/the-book/
Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.
References: Photo by Stainless Images on Unsplash