Self-Care
is the buzz word at the moment but what does it really mean and how do you care for yourself?
Women in particular, struggle with this concept as most of us are brought up to think of everyone else first. Society also plays a big part, as traditionally it was the woman who ran the household, did all the chores and brought up the kids. Some things have changed as most women now work outside of the home. However they generally still run the household, do a lot of the chores and bring up the kids, as well as hold down a job!
Where does self-care come into this, you may ask? Well, looking after yourself and prioritising your needs has never been more important. As women, we still tend to put family, work and our friends ahead of our own needs. As a result, we often end up fatigued, burn’t out and overwhelmed and sometimes as a consequence, ill.
I am just as guilty as the next person. I had prioritised the care of my elderly mother, my family and my business ahead of my own needs. Any appointments for myself, be it doctors or dentists, were put off as non urgent. I had a sudden wake up call after my mother passed away. I was left totally exhausted and realised that my self-care was virtually non-existent. I had health issues that needed to be followed up yet I had deemed them as unimportant or non-urgent. Wasn’t I just as important as everyone else? I believed so but certainly wasn’t acting that way. It suddenly dawned on me that I needed to seriously nurture myself if I was to live a vibrant life and be of any help to others
This mean’t learning to say “No” to everything that landed on my plate. For a serial “Yes” person, this was a huge challenge and continues to be so. However I am getting better at looking at my appointments, invitations and requests for help. I now prioritise what really needs to be done and more importantly, ask myself if it’s good for my health before making a decision. I also try and have a day just to myself every week. This involves a conscious effort not to work on the computer or on the business, but to spend time walking in nature, being in the garden or just sitting reading a book and having some quiet time.
What can you do then to nurture yourself? Are you a ‘Yes’ person too? Can you learn to say ‘No’? Do you always have to be doing something or can you just sit and enjoy your own company or some quiet time? Having a massage or reflexology, doing yoga, having your nails or hair done or going on a retreat are all nurturing things. They calm the body and the mind and help you to feel good about yourself. But doing these things on the odd occasion is not enough. They need to be part of your weekly, fortnightly or monthly routine. Doing things for yourself needs to be a part of your every day self-care.
It’s also very important to include something that you are really passionate about. This could be painting, surfing, exercise, cooking, gardening, music, horse-riding or photography. What do you love to do that really speaks to your heart and makes it sing? What ignites your passion so much that you forget the time and become totally immersed in what you are doing? How often do you do such an activity? I used to do garden photography on a regular basis and sell images to gardening magazines. Visiting new gardens and taking images of unusual and beautiful plants really filled my soul and gave me such a lift. It has been some time since I have done this and it’s only recently that I have realised that I need to rediscover my passion.
Caring for yourself, doing things you are really passionate about and really enjoying the life you have is what makes you wake up each morning with a sense of anticipation. Not many of us feel this way on a regular basis but we can change things, little by little to make our lives more meaningful. Putting the fun back into our lives gives us balance and is vital, not just for our physical health but also our mental and spiritual health.
How well do You nurture yourself? It’s never too late to start and even little things will make a difference. Wear your favourite jewellery or clothes, blow wave your hair and have your nails painted. Don’t wait for that special occasion. Make every day a nurturing, self-caring kind of day and you will be amazed at how wonderful you feel.
With love,
Judy
Let me know how you nurture yourself!