Be yourself – everyone else is already taken. This was a well known quote by Oscar Wilde, the famous poet and playwright. It talks about being authentically you. Pretty obvious you might say, but what does it really mean and how can you be You?
To be ourselves, is to remain true to who we really are. It sounds simple but actually isn’t so easy. How many of us conform to fit in with other’s expectations of us? How many of us change our behaviour so that we aren’t criticised or judged?
Think about it. How often do you rush around and tidy up the house when a friend says she will drop by? Although she may be a close friend, you still ditch the trackie pants and old t-shirt. Just in case.
Is she likely to comment on your old clothes, or that pile of laundry waiting to be ironed, or those dishes draining in the sink? Probably not, especially if she is a friend. Yet we still fear judgment or criticism. We can’t accept ourselves for who we are.
Why can’t we just be ourselves, especially with those who know us well? Why do we still feel uncomfortable? The same happens when we are given a compliment. Someone may admire your dress and instead of just saying ‘Thank you. I love it too,” you downplay it by saying “Oh this old thing. I’ve had it for ages.” Or someone compliments your hair or how you are looking that day. We so often, don’t accept the compliment for what it is – an appreciation of us.
Instead we play small. We diminish our appearance or our home or our achievements so that we don’t appear too much, too clever, too pretty or too organised! And what if we are! Why can’t we accept our talents and achievements whatever they may be. Marianne Williamson said in her famous poem, “We ask ourselves. Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? … “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Be comfortable with yourself. We are all unique. There is no other person in the billions of people on this planet, who is the same as you. We all have talents and gifts. Accept yours. And accept yourself. I am more of an introvert. I love seeing my family and friends, but feel uncomfortable around huge crowds of people that I don’t know.
I love time to myself but also love socialising when I feel like it. I love nature and the ocean. I love the city for eating out and to see musicals and concerts, but I couldn’t live in a busy place. I love freedom and the joy of working for myself. I love writing, photography and being creative. These things bring my joy.
However I know that each of us is different. Over the years I have learned to accept who I am. It hasn’t always been easy as in the past I have tried to conform so that I could fit in. But now I am learning and I rarely do that. I try and stay true to who I am.
Be yourself – everyone else is already taken. Remember these words and start to examine your own life and if necessary, look at how you can make changes. What brings you joy? Start to include more of that into your life. Wear whatever makes you happy, not what someone else may expect of you. Live the life of your choosing, not someone else’s. If someone compliments you, accept it with joy. You don’t always have to give a compliment in return. Be loud and proud with your achievements. You never know, you may encourage someone else to do the same.
Know that you are amazing and you can change the world. And start doing it one step at a time.
With warmest wishes,
Judy xxx
Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.
References: Marianne Williamson, “A Return to Love.” Photo by Caju Gomes on Unsplash.